When Chris accidentally runs over the foot of the lead in the youth production of the Nutcracker, he’s forced to fill in so that the kids can put on their show. Fortunately, Dan once worked for the Royal Ballet of Flanders in Antwerp, so he can help Chris train. Dan worked in IT for the Royal Ballet, but you pick up a lot just being there.
It’s a lovely little house. It’s down by the beach, so it has a great view. There’s a porch, a kegerator in the kitchen, and like eight bathrooms. Everything a guy needs.
It’s a Russ Meyer classic, starring Chris & Dan!
In this thrilling episode Chris must make his way across the perilous Martian desert to save the honor of his Martian Princess, while Dan flies alone against the Martian orbital fleet in epic space combat!
They say to contact the dread beast Nekru-Xatlaag you must be prepared to sacrifice all that you hold dear and willing to give the Earth itself over to his tender caress. Though the horrible verses may be found to summon him, it is said that his merest glance is enough to drive men mad and the sound of his voice may lay waste to nations. He owes nothing to humanity and would brush all life off the Earth as you may brush a hair from your lasagna.
Anyway, Chris and Dan summoned him. Dan sacrificed a couple comics, Chris sacrificed this signed copy of Weezer’s blue album.
So many dogs these days are raised in a household that does nothing to teach respect, self-confidence, discipline and sweet roundhouse kicks. Chris & Dan’s Karate School for dog can teach your pet the valuable life skills, and ass-kicking moves your dog needs to excel in school, the workplace, and bare-knuckle street fighting tournaments.
Chris is a driven and isolated scientist who, no matter no matter how many hours he puts in at the sandwich lab he just cannot complete the ultimate sandwich recipe. Dan’s a plucky hobo who knows a thing or two about the world, and a thing or two about… bacon.
“No, I’m sorry, sir. We can’t price match that item.”
“Yes. Yes. I understand. No, I’m sorry, as I said, we can’t match Best Buy’s prices.”
“No, not on that television, sir. ”
“No, it wouldn’t do any good to ask a manager, sir.”
“We just don’t price match at all and-”
“It’s not just the pri-”
“Yes, I understand, but if you’ll look-”
“No, I’m sorry. We cannot ‘beat the price’ on that television sir, see this-”
It’s kind of an awkward thing. I can’t say it goes well. Neither Chris nor Dan have ever watched Blake’s Seven, and the cast isn’t really into it either.
In today’s rough economy, the gentleman must be careful with his money. While it’s never easy to scale back and cut expenses, occasionally it is necessary. You’re a discerning gentleman, and you may need to choose between a handcrafted fifteen thousand dollar sofa, and a bottle of The Macallan in a crystal decanter. Naturally, Chris and Dan suggest you choose the scotch.