Molotov Cocktail Party

Some Beer with Chris & Dan: WALL OF SOUND EDITION

Dan — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 14:47:21 +0000

This episode was produced by Phil Spector.

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Some Beer with Dan & Chris: The Adventure of the Yappy Dog

Dan — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 12:52:56 +0000

When Chris makes a routine traffic stop, he finds a little yappy dog is the sole occupant of the vehicle. This odd occurrence starts the young officer down a path to MURDER.

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Some Beer With Chris & Dan: Dan & Chris and the Podcast of Doom

Dan — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 01:29:40 +0000

In this THRILLING EPISODE Chris finds himself trapped by the fighting women of Mars while Dan races against gravity in a damaged spacecraft a hundred miles above the Martian surface.

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Some Beer with Dan & Chris: World’s Largest Dan & Chris

Dan — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 18:57:25 +0000

Located in Scenic Vermont, just off Exit 14 of US Route 89 on the farm of Charlie “Old Man” Caulfield, a 76 year old veteran dairy farmer. The cement statues of Chris & Dan are each roughly fifteen feet tall, though Dan is slightly shorter, as is true of the original pair. Admission is free, Monday through Saturday, closed Sundays.

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Some Beer with Chris & Dan: Dan & Chris in SPACE

Dan — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 21:42:24 +0000

Space is big. There’s a lot of stuff up there and there’s even more space between the stuff than there is stuff. I mean, there’s so much space up there that they named the whole place after the space and not the stuff. We didn’t do much in space. We just kind of floated around for a bit. Didn’t find any stuff to touch.

Spent a lot of money on that. Didn’t accomplish much.

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Some Beer with Dan & Chris: Horror at 1.2 Billion Feet

Dan — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 18:34:36 +0000

There’s trouble on the moon!

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Some Beer with Chris & Dan: Dan & Chris Thought They Smelled Bacon

Dan — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 04:14:17 +0000

Chris and Dan really need to know who’s making bacon. Don’t you smell it? Right? Right? Someone around here is frying bacon and not sharing it. Who does that? Who makes bacon- in significant quantities, by the smell- and doesn’t share? That’s terrible. It’s one of the worst things you can do.

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Some Beer with Dan & Chris: Chris & Dan Versus Alan Thicke

Dan — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 05:05:12 +0000

Who’s the man with the money
Makes the dark days sunny
Who’s the fella every day
Gives a bundle away
Who’s the guy with the prizes
That’ll light up your eyes
It’s never endin’
Get a friend and
Get a ready to play-hey-hey
It’s the Wizard of Odds!

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Some Beer with Chris & Dan: Dan & Chris Fly a Kite

Dan — Sun, 30 May 2010 17:20:29 +0000

In this thrilling episode, Dan & Chris find themselves hurled through time to battle Blackbeard and Benjamin Franklin on the deck of the Federation Starship Reliant. In the end, a picnic!

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Some Beer with Dan & Chris: Ceci n’est pas une Chris et Dan

Dan — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 02:37:15 +0000

“Little is known about Magritte’s early life. He began lessons in drawing in 1910. On 12 March 1912, his mother committed suicide by drowning herself in the River Sambre. This was not her first attempt; she had made many over a number of years, driving her husband Léopold to lock her into her bedroom.”

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Some Beers with Chris & Dan: Hitch your wagon to Dan & Chris

Dan — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 18:54:27 +0000

Oh we’re going someplace. If you want to catch a ride to the stars, hitch your wagon to Chris & Dan’s coattails. Don’t worry about those coattails, Chris & Dan buy excellent coats- high quality stuff, sturdy with plenty of wagon hitches built right in.

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Some Beers with Dan & Chris: Caring for your new Chris & Dan

Dan — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 00:48:11 +0000

Getting a new Chris & Dan can be a huge responsibility. They will chew on everything they can reach, and those tiny teeth can be razor sharp. Chris & Dan-proofing your home is a lot like childproofing your house, but it’s much, much harder. Children are stupid and weak. Chris & Dan are very strong and very, very clever.

They are also manly and attractive. Before you Chris & Dan-proof your home, be sure to Chris & Dan-proof your heart.

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Some Beers With Chris & Dan: Tyler Perry’s Some Beer with Chris & Dan

Dan — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 05:20:36 +0000

Tyler Perry had nothing to do with this episode. Despite his being “just outside the top five highest-paid men in Hollywood” Dan had to look him up on Wikipedia when writing this blurb.

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Some Beers with Dan & Chris: Chris & Dan Escape From Alcatraz

Dan — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 16:05:50 +0000

It took three months to steal all the strings from the prison piano. Another eight weeks to scavenge the remaining footage from eight banjos, four guitars,one ukulele and fourteen pounds of hair from the prison barber’s trash. Chris spent four full nights, on no sleep, braiding the rope.

Dan built a raft boat from his cellmate, Anthony “Overweight Tony” Fatso-Jones. Fatso-Jones was in for tax evasion and cannibalism. He was also very large. With an air-pump built from an old accordion and a paddle made from popsicle sticks the boys were ready to make their break.

As soon as they made it over the wall, Chris and Dan were shot.

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Some Beers with Chris & Dan: Dan & Chris: The Tower Treasure

Dan — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 08:18:34 +0000

In this novel, Dan & Chris try to find a stolen item that belongs to their pal Chet Morton. Chris & Dan search the mansion for clues, and try to locate the culprit. They must face dangerous thieves and compete with another detective, Oscar Smuff, to recover the stolen jewels and bring the thief, Red Jackley, to justice. How will these first time detectives solve their first mystery, only you can find out!

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Some Beers with Dan & Chris: Chris & Dan Find Jesus

Dan — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 15:55:05 +0000

Jesus works the ticket booth down at the lion races. He’s a nice guy. Once, when I was a few bucks short, he let me in. Wouldn’t even let me give him the money I had. He figured what good is going to the lion races if you can’t have a beer? None. A lion race without a beer is worse than no lion races at all.

He got into grad school later and ended up in Boston for a while.

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Some Beers with Chris & Dan: Dan & Chris’ Lunar Adventurers!

Dan — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:58:11 +0000

The Moon is a mean place. It’s full of nothing but vacuum and dust like ground glass. Nothing can live their without a space suit, aside from the Moon Worms: fourteen foot long, marginally intelligent, eyeless, sexually aggressive, greasy, gray tubes. Horrible creatures.

They taste fantastic.

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Some Beers with Chris & Dan: Worthing & Blanchard’s Discount Surgery

Dan — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 05:28:03 +0000

I can’t say anything about quality, but if you need surgery at low, low, prices, there’s only one place to go: Worthing & Blanchard’s Discount Surgery. Unlike those fancy city Doctors, Worthing & Blanchard haven’t gone to expensive school so they can pass the savings on to you!

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Some Beers with Dan & Chris: Chris & Dan Speed Dial Some Hookers

Dan — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 20:55:32 +0000

I SING the Body electric;
The armies of those I love engirth me, and I engirth them;
They will not let me off till I go with them, respond to them,
And discorrupt them, and charge them full with the charge of the Soul.

Was it doubted that those who corrupt their own bodies conceal themselves;
And if those who defile the living are as bad as they who defile the dead?
And if the body does not do as much as the Soul?

And if the body were not the Soul, what is the Soul?

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Some Beers With Chris & Dan: Dan & Chris Learn the True Meaning of Christmas

Dan — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 06:50:48 +0000

Chris Blanchard: I think there must be something wrong with me, Dan. Christmas is coming, but I’m not happy. I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to feel.

Chris Blanchard: I just don’t understand Christmas, I guess. I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but I’m still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed.

Dan: Chris Blanchard, you’re the only person I know who can take a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem. Maybe Kristin’s right. Of all the Chris Blanchards in the world, you’re the Chris Blanchardiest.

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(We all know that Christmas is a big commercial racket. It’s run by a big eastern syndicate, you know.)

Some Beers with Dan & Chris: Chris & Dan Learn Some Valuable Lessons

Dan — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 16:37:59 +0000

Don’t play with fire
Don’t smoke
Don’t play with fire while you smoke
Look both ways before crossing the street
Don’t play with fire before crossing the street
Treat every gun as if it’s loaded
Treat every car as if it’s loaded
Treat Chris and Dan as if they’re loaded

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Some Beers with Chris & Dan: Dan & Chris and the Continuing Adventures of William Howard Taft

Dan — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 21:27:48 +0000

‘Old Bill’ Taft — born William Howard Taft. — was raised from the cradle for his task in life, his job of flitting about the globe righting wrongs, helping the oppressed, and smashing the guilty. He is a physician and surgeon — and a mighty good one, the tops in his line. He has the best and most modern equipment at his command, for he has limitless wealth. His main headquarters are in New York, hut he has his Fortress of Solitude at a place unknown to anyone, where he goes at periodic intervalls to increase his knowledge and concentrate. He’s foiled countless crooks, and changed many of them into honest, useful citizens. The world would be a great place if there were more W.H. Tafts. But there’s only one.

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Some Beers with Dan & Chris: Chris & Dan Open a Car Dealership

Dan — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 02:10:33 +0000

We’ve got to clear out our inventory before the 2010 models arrive! We’ll do anything to move these cars! Loaded automobiles at low, low, LOOOOOW prices!!

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Some Beers with Chris & Dan: Dan and Chris and your mom

Dan — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:01:05 +0000

She is an absolutely lovely woman. She offered coffee right off the bat, then started baking cookies! Cookies! They were these little chocolate ones with butterscotch. They were wonderful. You just don’t meet hosts like that anymore. She’s a really classy lady, your mom.

She had these great photos of you as a kid. That one of you in with your whole Kindergarden class in halloween costumes? That was great! She’s really very proud of you. Do you call her enough?

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Some Beers with Dan & Chris: Chris & Dan Fight Some Ninjas

Dan — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 03:45:44 +0000

Look, we’re not the bragging type of dudes. We don’t want to make a big deal about this. Yeah, yeah, they were ninjas with swords and everything. Still though, it’s not much. I mean, they attack one at a time, so the numbers really don’t mean much.

It was only twenty or thirty anyway.

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